The Princess and the Dragon: A Bleach Fairy Tale
by Wander101
Summary: Matsumoto had the best of intentions... The telling of a simple fairy tale gets way out of hand. Part humor, part adventure, mostly just crack.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Bleach.

Title: The Princess and the Dragon: A Bleach Fairy Tale

Chapter 1

A/N: So this is my first time writing anything related to Bleach. I'm sorry if the structure of this story is kind of confusing. Basically, it's a story within a story where Matsumoto is reading a fairy tale.

Format note: _Any lines entirely italics are happening in the "real" world of Bleach and not in the fairy tale itself. The same goes for any dialogue that starts with a person's name in script format._ _For example:_

_Matsumoto: blah blah blah_

Btw, I use the Japanese ranks and honorifics. Personally, I feel like the relationships between the characters are shown through the way they address each other. Hearing Rukia call Byakuya by his first name instead of ni-sama sounds very odd to me (because of how their relationship works). It's like hearing someone call their mom or dad by their first name. I hope that doesn't make the story awkward for any readers.

* * *

Matsumoto made her way through the corridors of the 4th division, looking for her taichou. Hitsugaya taichou had just returned from an extended mission in the human world and rumor was he'd been injured.

From all accounts it wasn't a serious injury. A checkup, maybe an overnight stay, and he'd be free to go. Good as new. Still, she was worried. The initial reports of hollow activity had been way off. Again. Thank you 12th division. But Hitsugaya Toshiro wasn't the youngest taichou in the history of the Gotei 13 for nothing. No casualties and only minor injuries made the mission a complete success.

Of course, she should have been there with him. She_ was_ his fukutaichou. He had no business going into battle without her. But no. He'd insisted she stay behind. Sure he claimed someone needed to run the division. And truth be told, with so many of the recent missions being assigned to the tenth they were feeling the strain.

The tenth was known for its professionalism. Something she took no small amount of pride in, even if it was mostly due to her taichou's efforts. It made sense not to take both commanding officers this time. The paperwork alone was becoming a nightmare.

Well the paperwork had built up steadily over the last week. It could wait another day. Besides, he would definitely appreciate her company. Sure her taichou was a little introverted and he often went to great lengths to be alone.

It was clearly a cry for help.

She found his room easily and had barely opened the door. "Taich-"

"Matsumoto, shouldn't you be at the division?" He was sitting up in bed with his haori removed and a bandage wrapped along the length of his left arm. Matsumoto hoped her relief wasn't too obvious. Her taichou hated being fussed over. Seeing that he was safe, it was time to pester him.

"Oh Taichou, don't be like that! Checking on you is more important."

"As you can see. I'm fine."

Ignoring the indirect dismissal, she sat in the chair closest to the window. "I'm here to keep you company. I've got this great book Hinamori found."

She glanced at her taichou. At the mention of his childhood friend, she'd hoped for some spark of interest. But if anything he seemed more annoyed with her. Before he could object she opened the book and launched into the story.

**. . . . .**

Long ago there was a peaceful kingdom that had ruled over the land for a thousand years. Every year the harvests were plentiful, the borders safe, and the royal family was very kind. The people of the kingdom were happy.

Sadly, no peace can last forever.

One day a terrible dragon from the icy north descended on the kingdom. The dragon was frighteningly powerful and its heart was as cold as its frozen homeland. It terrified the local villagers, laying waste to their homes.

But the queen sent her bravest knight to slay the monster before it could hurt anymore of the villagers-

**. . . . .**

Matsumoto closed her eyes. Oh god. She could feel her taichou glaring at her. Sometimes she could really be dense. She bowed her head pitifully, tried to shield herself with the book. "I'm sorry taichou. I…I'm smarter than this, I swear." Slowly, she worked up the courage to face him.

His face betrayed nothing, would have given Kuchiki taichou a run for his money, but the sudden drop in temperature was unmistakable.

Matsumoto exhaled, watched her breath turn into steam, and gave him her brightest smile. She could play it off as a joke. Right? He'd never believe she was that oblivious.

"_Get out."_

Or not.

"Yes taichou."

Matsumoto quietly closed the door behind her. What had she been thinking? She'd read the story a dozen times. It wasn't anything groundbreaking. The usual story of a dragon and a heroic knight. You know, slay the dragon and get the girl.

Of course her taichou wouldn't see it that way. As a boy with a dragon inside him, who was feared or hated by an entire village… How else would he identify with it? Matsumoto sighed softly. She wanted to blame this one on the sake. Or Hinamori. Yes, this was her fault.

Matsumoto was halfway down the hall when she heard screaming. That wasn't uncommon in the medical division. But this wasn't the type of screaming she was most familiar with, the "I'm being killed by a hollow/arrancar/traitorous shinigami" type of screaming. This sounded even more dramatic and slightly higher pitched.

Now, Matsumoto was naturally curious, didn't respect boundaries on a good day, and needed a distraction. She quickly found herself peeking through a door at the opposite end of the hallway.

It wasn't a typical patient's room. It was too big, big enough for 3 officers to form a cleansing barrier in the center and still have enough space left to move about. Yachiru was sitting within the barrier doing her best to deafen everyone in the room. Hanataro was trying futilely to calm the girl down. Even Unohana taichou looked exasperated.

It didn't seem possible for her to make the situation any worse. So Matsumoto got as close to the pink haired fukutaichou as the barrier would permit. "Hello Chiru-chan." She tried to sound as upbeat as possible, hoping to quiet the girl, if only for a moment.

The girl stopped screaming, maybe distracted, maybe just out of breath. And Matsumoto looked her over. Yachiru didn't appear to be at any serious risk. True, she was paler than normal and it looked like she hadn't slept in days.

Unohana seemed to read her mind. "Kusajishi fukutaichou decided to sneak in the 12th division's labs. Fortunately or unfortunately, one of Mayuri taichou's security measures stopped her." The 4th division taichou sighed softly. "She isn't in any danger anymore. However, she will need a few more treatments and her recovery would go much faster if she wouldn't fight us."

Matsumoto nodded sympathetically. Trying to get the hyperactive child to sit still for any length of time was a battle. Add in the utter boredom of sitting in a barrier and the uncomfortable feeling of the healing kido prickling her skin, and this was a lost cause.

Matsumoto glanced down at the book in her hands. Her grumpy taichou be damned! It was a good story. Perfect for a little girl. She smirked at Unohana taichou.

Matsumoto kneeled down on the mat directly in front of Yachiru. "I've got a story here and I know you'll love it!"

The little girl in question stared at her suspiciously. It felt like a trick. She always hated being in the infirmary. And the stupid kido treatment was the worst. 4th division was awful!

Matsumoto grinned back. The girl was still upset but her interest was obvious. Matsumoto opened her book and began to read. As soon as she started, it was clear she had the young fukutaichou's attention.

A faraway look appeared in Yachiru's eyes, her imagination already taking over.

Perfect!

**. . . . .**

Long ago there was a peaceful kingdom that had ruled over the land for a thousand years. Every year the harvests were plentiful, the borders safe, and the royal family was very kind. The people of the kingdom were happy. Until one day a terrible dragon from the north descended on the kingdom.

Hitsugaya, obviously, in his Bankai form appeared in the sky.

Okay. So maybe the dragon wasn't terrible. He had plenty of good qualities. Mostly, he just had trouble opening up to people. But he _did_ descend on the kingdom.

The people were terrified. They turned to their beautiful queen for help.

In flash of light and a puff of smoke Matsumoto appeared on a large balcony, overlooking her city. She smirked. "Like it could be anyone else."

The queen decided-

_Yachiru: Who cares about a stupid old queen!_

_Matsumoto: She is not old!_

_Yachiru: Some queen sitting on a throne is boring!_

_Matsumoto: It's part of the story. And she isn't old._

_Unohana Taichou: I'm sure Matsumoto was mistaken._

_One look at Unohana taichou settled the argument. Yachiru was finally cooperating enough for the healers to start making progress and nothing else mattered. Matsumoto glanced down at the now useless page. Why had she thought anyone else would like this story? It was too late for regrets. She was committed now. Matsumoto resisted the urge to grab the bridge of her nose. She could do this. She'd steal what she could from the book and make up what she needed to. _

No problem.

The ground opened up to swallow the beautiful and totally not old queen.

Let's try this again.

In this kingdom there were many small farms. On one of these farms a young girl lived with her family.

Another flash of light, another puff of smoke, and Momo found herself standing in a small farmhouse.

The sometimes endearing, more often irritating, humble farm girl-

_Yachiru: Where's the princess? If there's a dragon there has to be a princess._

_The pink haired girl was glaring at her like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The little girl, who was her equal in rank (which at that moment stung like a bitch), crossed her arms and continued to glare._

_Yachiru: There has to be._

Apparently, those were the_ official_ rules.

The ground began to open again swallowing the girl, the house, even the farm itself.

"Hey! Why can't I be-"

Shut up. Your stupid book got me into this mess.

For the third and, please god, final time there was a flash of light and a puff of smoke.

Princess Rukia stood on her balcony staring into the moonlit sky. The princess loved watching the moon. It always filled her with a sense peace.

Suddenly, a dark shape fell over her.

The dragon swooped down, a shadow against the darkness. Before she could call out for help she was already in the dragon's clutches and it was rising into the night sky.

Hitsugaya smirked at her then adjusted his hold on the princess' waist. "Tell me if my grips too tight."

Rukia blinked. "That was not what I was expecting you to say."

Green eyes, surprisingly human eyes, stared into her own. "Would you believe I don't enjoy hurting innocent people?"

"Considering I'm not falling to my death, I'll take a leap of faith."

Higher and higher the dragon soared until the entire kingdom was lost in the darkness below. The dragon turned to the north and flew towards the horizon. You see, the dragon wanted to steal the princess beca-

_Yachiru: Because the dragon loved the princess! _

Rukia's eyes widened.

Hitsugaya blushed furiously.

_Matsumoto: …__**Fine! **_

As I was saying, the dragon had fallen in love with the princess. So he kidnapped her before she could be married to one of her brother's loyal knights. The dragon carried the princess off to his keep in the north.

Hitsugaya cleared his throat. "Erm…hang on."

Rukia, a faint blush on her cheeks, just wrapped her arms around the dragon's neck and nodded.

But the princess was not without hope of rescue. The knight she was promised to was one of her oldest friends. He was brave and strong, although not the most intelligent person in the world.

Enter Renji, stage left.

But the knight was loyal. Did I already say loyal? I feel like I said loyal. Anyway the knight vowed to rescue the princess. The knight knew he couldn't take on the dragon by himself. He would need the help of his two most trusted comrades.

He found them at the most prestigious dive bar in the city and told them about the horrible injustice that had befallen the princess.

Renji stormed up to their table. "Some asshole dragon kidnapped Rukia! Let's go after him."

His comrades, while brave and seasoned warriors, were concerned. After all, a dragon is not an enemy to be taken lightly.

"Hell yeah! We get to slay a goddamn dragon!" Ikkaku cheered, and they each raised a glass of sake.

"It will make a beautiful tale of courage and love, triumphing over evil." Yumichika added. Another round of glasses were raised.

Renji grinned. "We hit the road at first light. We should get some rest."

Everyone laughed.

So the ritual high fiving and pre-mission drinking commenced.

* * *

I hope it wasn't too hard to follow along with what was happening. It felt like it took a lot of work to get the story rolling along because of all the starting and stopping (mostly Matsumoto and Yachiru's fault).

I appreciate any and all reviews, especially constructive criticism.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Bleach.

Title: The Princess and the Dragon: A Bleach Fairy Tale

Chapter 2

Notes: Sorry if there are any mistakes. This is unbetad.

* * *

As soon as he woke up Ikkaku dragged himself to the city gates. First light had come and gone but he knew his friends were just as hungover. It was closer to noon when he reached the gates and still no sign of Renji or Yumichika. He leaned against the stone walls and slide slowly down to the ground, looking less like a brave adventurer and more like a homeless person. The fact that he still reeked of alcohol didn't help.

It was another hour before he had any company, besides the locals. It was a busy morning, meaning a little more noise, but he'd also made several kan just sitting there. So, not a total loss.

Something down the road caught a beam of light, driving a sharp spike of pain across his temples. Ikkaku looked for the source and almost didn't recognize Renji. His friend was riding a white horse, in full armor, and leading a small entourage, towards the gates.

If he was trying to look regal, he almost pulled it off. Too bad the armor looked ridiculous on him. It looked like the type of plate mail western knights wore. But the stupidest part was the strange fur draped around the neck and shoulders. Stopping in the middle of road, dismounting, and running into an alley to throw up also kind of ruined the moment.

The small entourage waited patiently for Renji to return to his horse and lead them down the road. Renji stopped in front of him, still on horseback, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement.

"How the hell did you afford all this?" Ikkaku asked. Besides the horse and armor (obviously new), Renji had brought along a wagon and two drivers. Renji liked to think of himself as a bit of a celebrity, and to be fair, knights were looked up to. But most knights, especially the younger ones, weren't rolling in cash.

The look on Renji's face told Ikkaku that wasn't the greeting he was expecting. Whatever Renji was about to say was cut off before it started when Yumichika appeared, two massive suitcases in tow. "Excellent a wagon. That was going to be my first suggestion."

Ikkaku felt like he should ask another question here. Something about bringing so much luggage and no means to carry it. But his head was pounding. It felt like he was stuck playing the straight man. And it was too bright and too loud to keep that up much longer.

Yumichika finished loading his bags, with the help of their still silent drivers, before turning to Renji. "That outfit is awful." Yumichika eyed Renji's armor with disgust. "Oversized and pretentious."

"Let's just go." Ikkaku groaned. If they were on the road, they'd at least be making progress while they argued over something stupid.

. . . . .

Renji grumbled to himself as they took their first steps onto the open road. There was still a crowd and he didn't want to make a scene. Or the wrong kind of scene. He rode at the front of their group, of course. The wagon lumbered slowly behind, with his friends bringing up the rear.

His idiot friends.

What did they know? He was a famous knight, with an image to maintain. That meant a white horse, shining armor, and a wagon with servants. Yes, the armor had nearly cleaned him out. But it was worth it. He looked good. Besides, once married he'd never have to worry about money again.

Maybe he could buy new friends.

20 minutes later they could barely see the city walls. Renji slowed down until he was even with the wagon and called everyone to a halt. He was rewarded with several annoyed looks. The knight sat up straighter in the saddle and looked over his companions gravely.

"I'm gonna crash in the back of the wagon for a while."

With his armor off and safely stowed the knight climbed warily into the back of the wagon to sleep of the worst of his hangover. He moved the luggage (Yumichika's) and supplies (booze) to make space for himself.

A few minutes of shuffling and cursing later, he stretched out as best he could. And found his eyes drawn to the servants driving the wagon. They hadn't said a word to anyone, not even each other since he'd met them.

He didn't know anything about the drivers. Lord Ukitake had sent them along to help with their quest. Lord Ukitake was clearly very fond of the princess, to let two of his students go on such a dangerous mission. It was the thought that they might very well die that compelled Renji to at least learn their names.

The silence was getting to him.

"Oi! You two, introduce yourselves. Why'd you two volunteer?"

And that silence was shattered.

"I volunteered for the sake of Lord Ukitake. He's just tagging along."

"I didn't need to volunteer! Lord Ukitake asked me to go. He trusts me!"

"Ha! He wanted you gone. I'm here to make sure you don't screw up!"

"You just wanted to copy me! Couldn't handle the thought of me saving the day?"

. . . . .

"This wasn't quite what I expected from a dragon's lair." The princess remarked. Rukia stood facing the dragon, now in his human form. Apparently, he could discard his wings and tail at will. It must have been very convenient for moving around indoors.

Even in his human form he retained his stark white hair which, while most people would find odd, didn't bother her in the least. She had spent enough time as one of Lord Ukitake's art students to find it quite striking. Then there were his eyes. Lord Ukitake had green eyes too, but his had a warm softness to them. The dragon's eyes…intense was the only way to describe them. Ever alert. And even when he smiled, when his eyes did soften, they pierced you. They were strange, unnerving, and _exciting_.

The dragon, he'd introduced himself as Hitsugaya Toshiro, nodded his head in understanding. He gestured to the farmers working around them. They were currently touring the property's vast watermelon fields. "It used to be that a dragon could terrorize the country side, take what they needed, and build up a respectable horde of treasure."

While technically a prisoner, Rukia felt a pang of sympathy. Hitsugaya had an almost wistful look on his face. It gave the dragon a sense of mystery.

"But when the economy gets bad everyone feels it. It's far more effective to employ those same townsfolk. Someone needs to organize all these people."

Rukia gestured to a group of workers loading several wagons. "You grow enough crops to sell?"

"Yes, although we export less watermelon than you'd expect. But we have trade agreements in place with most of the nearby towns."

The princess looked over the handsome and well to do dragon appreciatively. "This is quite the operation."

"It helps to be able to control the weather. We produce a lot and people go where they can find work. It's a lot to manage, especially now that my assistant is gone."

"What happened to your old assistant?" The princess couldn't help but ask. While Hitsugaya had been a perfect gentleman since her arrival (overlooking the kidnapping), she had no idea what a dragon was capable of doing.

"She had a drinking problem." The dragon shook his head sadly. "In and out of rehab. Finally had to let her go."

Surprised, and feeling more than a little guilty, the princess barely suppressed the urge to hug the melancholy dragon. There were just so many misconceptions about dragons! Instead, she reached out to take his hand. "I'm sorry to hear that. I guess we all have our personal demons."

The dragon gave her hand a gentle squeeze and led her back to the castle. It was a comfortable silence as the sunset and workers wrapped up for the day. They entered the castle through the main servants' entrance. They stopped just inside the castle, still holding hands.

The moment was ruined when a pair of workers came in, one of them holding a cage with a white ball of fur inside.

And then there was chaos.

The princess was a blur of motion. Squealing in delight, she tore the cage from the shocked servant's grasp. Hitsugaya couldn't be sure if she opened the cage or ripped it apart in her bare hands but seconds later she was hugging a small white rabbit to her chest. "You are _adorable_!"

The terrified servant looked to the dragon for answers, help, maybe even safety. "Found him out in the fields my lord."

The dragon did a better job of hiding his own surprise. "It's okay. I believe the princess plans to keep him as a pet."

"Yes!" Another squeal, "I shall call you Snowflake!"

Then the equally terrified rabbit looked to the dragon, desperation written all over its little face. "Why don't you take him up to your room, Rukia?"Hitsugaya swore the rabbit shot him an accusing look as it was carried off by the princess.

He watched the princess hurry up the stairs before waving the servant over.

"Bring one of the smaller rabbit enclosures to the princess' room. And rabbits are no longer on the menu inside the castle." He locked eyes with the servant. "Never speak of it."

"Yes, my lord."

. . . . .

The wagon rocked beneath him, Renji rolled onto his side and draped an arm over his eyes. Was a couple hours of quiet too much to ask for?

Lord Ukitake's students had argued constantly for the first half of the trip and about the stupidest things. Finally, he'd forced a jug of alcohol into each of their hands. That seemed to be the trick. They were still talking but it was a minor miracle compared to their constant bickering. He might even have something to drink himself, take the edge off.

The wagon rocked again, nearly putting him on his back. The road they were on was a real piece of shit. They must have been way out in the countryside. At least that meant they were making good time.

His weight (and everything else in the wagon) shifted backwards and he figured they were going up a hill, a steep one. They were moving at a much slower but also gentler pace. The ride smoothed out and Renji started to nod off.

He awoke when one of Yumichika's suitcases landed on top of him. He'd just gotten it off when the other crashed into him. He was up and cursing before he noticed the entire wagon was shaking. What the hell was going on? What were those stupid drivers thinking? Now he knew why Lord Ukitake had parted with them so easily. Renji yanked open the curtains to scream at them.

But there wasn't anyone there.

No drivers, no horses, not even any road.

The wagon was shooting down the side of a hill, rapidly closing in on what looked like a dry riverbed. And it was picking up speed.

He was going to die.

Renji scrambled to the back of the wagon, climbing over all the crap they'd brought along for the trip. Stumbling over Yumichika's damn luggage, he grabbed the back rail. The landscape was a blur of green and brown. If only he could slow down but there was no time to try. No time to look back.

He jumped.

Then there was darkness.

. . . . .

Renji opened his eyes and let the world slowly come back into focus. Two fuzzy human shapes hovered over him.

"Hey boss."

"How ya feeling?"

He squinted at the two blurs. "What happened?"

It was really pretty simple. Kiyone and Sentaro, might have had a little too much to drink. Then theyhad the brilliant idea to try and jump the riverbed. In their defense the ground in front of the riverbed did slope upwards, almost like a ramp, and with a hill that steep anything was possible.

They figured they were at least even money to make it.

Of course, they weren't going to risk the horses or, god forbid, their own lives. So they took a few minutes to get everything setup first.

Things kinds of things happen.

Renji watched the drivers return to the remains of the wagon. It was lodged at where the slope and the riverbed met. Without seeing the front, Renji could tell they wouldn't be riding in it anymore. He didn't have the strength to glare at Ikkaku and Yumichika, still on horseback several feet away. "Why didn't you stop them?"

They shrugged their shoulders. "We thought the wagon would make it over."

"So did we!" Sentaro called back. He took another swig of the liquor jug, which had miraculously survived, and handed it to Kiyone. He gave Renji a surprisingly serious look for a drunk. "We have wrecked our fair share of wagons and this one" he slapped the side for emphasis, "this one, can take a beating."

Kiyone nodded enthusiastically. "Damn fine craftsmanship. Damn fine." She passed the jug back.

Ikkaku and Yumichika trotted their horses over.

"Well, nothing left to do but move one", Yumichika smirked, "and pay up."

A round of sighs and curses followed as the others pulled out their wallets, counted out a few coins, and angrily dropped them into his waiting hands. Ikkaku handed over his entire pouch. "Can't believe he got out of there."

"What the hell is wrong with all of you? Now we need to get it out of there. Then we have to push thi-." Renji froze. "Wait, did you bet I'd die?"

"No. Don't be stupid." Ikkaku looked genuinely offended.

"He bet that you'd freak out and cower inside the wagon. Which would probably kill you. I knew you'd try to save yourself." Yumichika took a single coin from his winnings and tossed it to Renji, "you've always been scrappy."

"I thought you'd gone soft working for Lord Kuchiki for so long." Ikkaku explained as if speaking to a particularly slow child.

Renji was silent.

Unfortunately, the drivers (no, now technically just servants) were not.

"You can't be serious!" Kiyone whined.

Sentaro agreed. "We have wrecked our fair share of wagons and this one" he slapped the side for emphasis, "this one, is a piece of shit."

Kiyone again, nodded enthusiastically.

Maybe it was the near death experience, maybe it was a concussion. Probably a concussion. Whatever the cause, Renji's brain decided to block out that part of the conversation and just move on. "Yes we are." He mounted his horse. "And by we, I mean you."

. . . . .

Two hours later found them pushing the wagon through an ominous forest. His friends had heard stories of a large wolf-like monster terrorizing the area. Apparently it stood on two legs and towered over men.

"Why don't we hunt this monster down? I bet there's a reward out for it."

"No."

"Or at least ask him why a wolf walks around like a human being. Or why we've never seen anyone else like him."

"No, he stays in his stupid den and never does anything important."

Moving on.

. . . . .

It took a day and half to reach a real town. They managed to push the wagon onto the main street before collapsing around it.

"We made it." Yumichika gasped out between short ragged breaths.

The best Ikkaku could manage was a quick nod.

Then fate decided to smile upon them.

"Greetings!I am Kyoraku Shunsui, local councilman and ladies' man."

There, standing over them with a huge smile, was a strange man with a straw hat and brown hair drawn into a ponytail.

"I'm Sir Renji and these are my comrades." Renji pointed to his friends. He then jerked his thumb towards Kiyone and Sentaro. "And them too."

"Of course. My apologies, I should have recognized a knight's bearing!" Renji stood a little prouder. Shunsui pretended not to notice. Instead he inspected the eyesore that used to be the wagon. "It looks like your vehicle is in need of repair. I can easily show you where to find the local smith." He removed his straw hat and gave a quick but dramatic bow. "Would you brave adventurers join me for dinner? I'd love to hear the details of your quest."

Renji sighed. Tempting as that was, work did come first. "We should find the blacksmith first and it's a little early for dinner." That much was true, it was only midafternoon.

Their host paused to consider the problem. "I suppose we could have a few drinks to pass the time."

Screw work. He'd spent the entire day pushing a wagon (or supervising) after nearly dying in it. Just don't sound too eager, he told himself. "Yes. Let me just give my servants their orders."

Smooth.

Renji walked to the back of the wagon where Kiyone and Sentaro were resting, too tired even to bicker. That was probably a first.

"We'll be with the local councilman tonight." He jerked his thumb towards the man wearing a straw hat…with a woman's kimono draped over his shoulders. He seemed legit. "Find the blacksmith, fix the wagon. Sell Yumichika's things if you have to." Renji didn't wait for a response.

They followed Shunsui through the doors of what had to be the biggest restaurant Renji had ever seen. Their host spoke briefly to a waitress and requested his usual table. The young lady smiled at him and then flashed an even bigger smile at his guests.

Shunsui turned back to them. "If you'll follow me."

He guided them through the crowd and up 3 small steps to table that could easily seat 10 people. They were still in the main room but in an area that was raised a few feet of the floor, away from the common tables, and separated by a small railing.

"Please excuse me for a moment. I'm going to have a quick word with the owner." The councilman headed back towards the entrance, greeting people as he passed. Everyone seemed to know him and was eager to talk to him, large smiles on their faces.

Renji soaked it all in. It felt good to be off the road and back in civilization. Dinner with a town official in the best restaurant, at the prime table. From their raised position he looked over the lesser patrons. Most of them were looking his table, at him in particular. He couldn't blame them. A heroic, and soon to be famous, knight gracing them with his presence, eating at the very same restaurant. They'd be telling all of their friends about this later.

It was about time he was appreciated.

And when Shunsui returned and asked if they'd be interested in a little drinking match Renji didn't try to keep the grin on his face. Everything was falling into place.

"It's on!"

Shunsui stared at his guests as one of them immediately launched into some sort of pre-drinking luck dance. "I see you started without me."

Ritual done, Ikkaku dropped back into his seat and slammed a hand down on the table. "Let the battle begin!"

The councilman smiled to himself and raised his glass.

Too easy.

. . . . .

The next morning found Renji and his two friends laying in the street, in front of the restaurant. The three sputtered awake as a bucket of water was dumped over them.

Renji shot to his feet. Or tried to, immediately getting light headed and falling back down. He looked up to see his attacker, a slender woman with black hair and oval glasses.

"What the hell?!"

"How rude of me. I'm Ise Nanao, local restaurant owner. Specifically, the owner of the restaurant where you got drunk, ran up a huge bill, and blacked out." She handed him a receipt that was longer than Renji's arm. "When we realized you were broke, Shunsui suggested I talk to the local smith about confiscating your wagon."

"He suggested that?! That bastard was supposed to pay the bill."

She narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Do not take about him like that."

"I ah… meant to say. We were invited-"

The woman waved off their explanation. "Shunsui does this to a lot of people. He always gets them to drink and he's always the last man standing." She adjusted her glasses and gave them a stern look. "But usually they have enough money to pay. You can still have your horses. I'm holding the wagon as collateral."

"Why do you let him keep doing it?"

"Simple answer: None of your goddamn business."

As angry as he was, Renji had to admit the offer was fair, generous even. It might take weeks to reach the dragon's lair on foot. And it wasn't like he could do anything about it. They didn't have anything left to sell or barter.

That wagon had been nothing but trouble. Bringing it along had been the worst decision of his life. But it just felt like a knight shouldn't travel so light. People expected more from him.

Renji snorted. To hell with that. Not bothering to respond, he joined his friends by the horses.

The owner could keep the damn thing for all he cared and what was left of their supplies. His servants had probably sold all of Yumichika's things to pay for the repairs. So what was left? Ikkaku didn't bring much. Neither had he, just a change of clothes and some food.

And his armor.

All of the blood drained out of Renji's face.

"How was your night out with Shunsui?" Kiyone asked brightly.

Renji was already mounting his horse. "I don't want to talk about it." He paused. Something about Kiyone's tone, the familiarity sunk in. "Wait, did you know him?"

"He's one of Lord Ukitake's oldest friends. He's taken us out drinking plenty of times."

"Careful though, he'll stick you with the bill if you can't hold your liquor!" Sentaro laughed.

Kiyone joined in. "Everytime!"

Renji's right eye began to twitch. He walked back to the owner and lowered his voice. "I can get you the money but right now I need the armor in the back. Can you hold those two", he pointed at the still laughing drivers, "and let us go?"

"No one's ever asked me to hold a person as collateral. Look, I can let you have the armor and your servants."

"I insist."

. . . . .

The five three brave adventurers continued on their quest. An uncomfortable silence had fallen over them. It must have been due to being violently hungover. What else could it be? Other than the hangovers, absolutely nothing was wrong. They had their horses and Renji had his armor. It had been a wise decision to set out with only this two friends on horseback.

Traveling light meant traveling fast.

Ikkaku was the one to break the uncomfortable silence. "So we're leaving those two behind?"

"I suggest we leave that part out of our heroic tale." Yumichika added.

Renji pretended not to hear them, he didn't know what they were talking about.

Ikakku, oblivious to his friend's frayed nerves, carried on. "Don't you think someone's going to notice? I mean, that's two of Lord Ukitake's followers missing."

"Three, counting the princess." Yumichika pointed out.

Renji finally lost it. "You're both wrong. It's been the three of us since the start. We didn't have a wagon so we didn't need any help driving it. So obviously, we couldn't get the wagon impounded or sell the help into indentured servitude."

"Is sell the right word? Felt more like giving 'em away." For whatever reason, Ikkaku insisted on his version of events.

"That never happened! And we certainly didn't get hustled by some common town drunk!"

This time it was Yumichika. "There was nothing common about him."

Ikkaku nodded his head and immediately regretted it. Riding a horse with a hangover was bad enough. That man drank all three of them under the table and then did a victory bottle by himself. Say what you want about his character, but "recognize the skills."

. . . . .

Meanwhile, the princess was trying to settle into her new surroundings, which were quite similar to her old surroundings. The room she'd been given was spacious, with a large balcony. The room itself was well furnished with a large bed, wardrobe (the seamstress had been busy), and art supplies.

And that was how the dragon found her: sitting in front of her painting easel, brush in hand, working on a portrait of her rabbit.

Hitsugaya took a moment to admire her work. Or at least the effort put into it. "He's a very cooperative subject isn't he?"

Snowflake was curled up against one of her pillows, a single red rose strategically placed in his tiny paws.

Rukia turned to him with a smile. "Actually, he's quite the diva. I was just more stubborn."

Hitsugaya sighed with exaggerated seriousness, "We all have to suffer for our art."

The princess' smile grew, reluctantly she turned back to her subject. "I know they must be a burden to the farmers but I find them adorable."

She didn't see the slightly uncomfortable look that crossed the dragon's face. "Oddly enough, we don't see many of them."

Rukia hummed thoughtfully, tried to add a little more definition to the painting's ears. "That's fortunate. Almost like they're avoiding the area." Pleased with her work so far, she put down her brush and stood up to stretch.

"I'm taking a break for lunch and was hoping you'd join me."

As if in response, Rukia's stomach rumbled. Trying to fight down a blush and needing a distraction she glanced towards the balcony, imaging all the work going on in the watermelon fields. "It must be difficult to manage so much on your own." The princess knew the long hours both her brother and Lord Ukitake kept. Not that they ever let her help.

"There _is_ a lot of work. Today's been mostly paperwork. Reports to go over. Bookkeeping."

"Can I help?" She blurted out. She knew the dragon, Hitsugaya she reminded herself firmly, had been working diligently since breakfast. While she enjoyed her time with Snowflake, she wanted to feel useful and missed the company.

It was obvious by the look on his face that Hitsugaya hadn't been expecting that question. The princess expected a polite refusal, the type Lord Ukitake always used, before it was her turn to be surprised. "I'd appreciate the help. I have to warn you though, the amount of paperwork can be a little scary."

Grinning now, Rukia held the rabbit out to him. "Can you put Snowflake away while I wash up?"

Barely waiting for a nod. The princess gave the rabbit a quick kiss and darted off to the washroom.

Hitsugaya held the rabbit gently in his hands. It was wary of him but not terrified. That was a good sign. Some animals could sense his true form. It was good thing he never needed to ride a horse. "Trust me. It could have ended up worse for you." He sighed and put the rabbit in his cage.

* * *

Notes: This story has grown out of control. The entire fairy tale was originally supposed to be a prologue to another story where you would see more of the outside (real) Bleach world. In that story I wanted to characters to find out about Matsumoto's fairy tale, with full repercussions. I'll have to make that a sequel down the road. I appreciate the feedback, especially about the formatting. I'll try to come up with a better system for the conclusion.

Can anyone guess which fukutaichou will be in the last chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Bleach.

Title: The Princess and the Dragon: A Bleach Fairy Tale

Chapter 3

A/N: So this is my first time writing anything related to Bleach. I'm sorry if the structure of this story is kind of confusing. Basically, it's a story within a story where Matsumoto is reading a fairy tale.

Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors. This was rushed.

* * *

_Any dialogue that starts with a person's name in script format._ _For example:_

_Matsumoto: blah blah blah_

_is someone in the "real" Bleach world talking separately from the story. Almost like narration. I realize it's confusing but the "voices" of the real characters will sometimes show up in the fairy tale. But 95% of the story is the fairy tale itself and I didn't want the entire thing in italics. Now onto the story!_

Matsumoto flipped through her notes quickly, assuring herself they were all there. The stupid fairy tale had a mind of its own. She couldn't believe how long it had gotten.

Which had turned out to be a benefit for some.

Unohana had suggested, in the cheerful and creepy way of hers, Matsumoto break the story up into sections. While that was great for Yachiru's treatment's it was taking up a lot of her spare time. Weekly visits were one thing, she could sneak way easily enough, but making up each new chapter was killing her.

Writing was hard**. **

If her taichou found out she had worked on this in the office he'd be livid. Then again, if he found out he'd been cast in her story she'd be buried alive in a mountain of paperwork.

Or buried dead in an icy grave.

Matsumoto slid open the doors to Yachiru's usual room. "My apologies for being late Unohana-"

She trailed off when she noticed the unexpected guests in the room.

"You don't mind a bigger audience do you?"

The third and fifth seats of the 11th division stood next to the pink haired girl. And they were smiling.

Instincts honed over hundreds of battles screamed at her to turn around, that this was a trap. Matsumoto was about to ask what was going on when Yachiru greeted her. The little girl held up a plush doll that looked like a blue dragon and pretended to growl at her.

Before she could stop herself, Matsumoto was tentatively reaching out for it. A growing sense of dread slowly washing over her.

With the dragon in her arms, Matsumoto took a closer look at it. The body was made from different shades of blue, just enough contrast to give it more form, more depth. The dragon's head had a series of short white spikes that stuck out and back. Two wings, each one almost as big as the dragon's own body, stretched and curved as if holding the dragon aloft.

It was undeniably beautiful.

It might also get her killed when people started asking questions about it.

"What do you think?" Yumichika was smirking. "Do you like it?"

They knew. The way he was smirking… Did everyone know?

Matsumoto began to pale. Ikkaku took some pity on her. "Don't worry. It hasn't gotten out of the division."

"Yet." The smirk on Yumichika's face grew. "But Yachiru wouldn't stop talking about the dragon and the princess. She couldn't wait to hear today's story."

Yachiru held out her hands for the dragon, silently demanding. Matsumoto handed it back and watched the girl hug the dragon to her chest.

"You never answered my question. Do you like it? I think it came out very well."

"I can't believe you had that specially made." It was Ikkaku that responded. And Matsumoto was grateful for the distraction. She idly wondered if she could transfer to another division within 24 hours.

"You wanted to buy the first one you saw."

"So?"

Yumichika felt like he was the only sane person in the spirit world. "It was red! It had to be an _ice_ dragon and it had to be perfect."

He'd taken it upon himself to find the perfect design. It was practically a call to duty, since he was the only one in his division with the proper appreciation for beauty. He'd seen Hitsugaya taichou's Bankai, an inferior doll absolutely would not do.

"It is perfect." Unohana remarked. The taichou seemed to find this quite amusing. "If you two wish to keep Yachiru company you must not interfere with the treatment or Matsumoto's story. Understood?"

The two men made zipping gestures over their mouths and smiled wider.

. . . . .

It took the trio a day to reach the edge of the dragon's territory. They found themselves before its frozen gates. The massive double doors were formed by sheets of ice easily 20 feet high. The ice itself was like glass, smooth and completely transparent, marred only by two long black handles running vertically along the center.

And four letters that spelled "Push."

Yumichika of course, had to comment. "Now this is stunning. You see Renji? It's hard to make something on this scale not feel obtrusive."

The knight and his brave companions struggled valiantly to open the doors. Pushing with all their might. And of course they resorted to hitting it with their weapons. In fact, they almost immediately resorted to using their weapons.

They tried everything they could think of: hitting the doors, hitting them _really_ hard, shouting as they hit them.

But when night fell over the companions the gates remained sealed by a dark and powerful magic.

And again, Yumichika felt the need to comment. "At night you can truly appreciate the beauty of this gate. There's just an elegance to it." He walked closer to get a better look. The darkness gave the ice a mirror-like quality. "Oh! Even better!"

"Stop praising the gate." Renji snapped at him. Why didn't he just come alone?

Ikkaku stood and dusted himself off. "Well kids, we need some help. Cuz, this isn't getting us anywhere."

Although, maybe if they tried hitting it again…

"May I make a suggestion?" All three men turned at the sudden voice, find nothing but empty air. "Down here."

They found themselves staring at a cat. Apparently a cat that talked.

…

"Why is there a talking cat? I've been around the block a few times and this is the first I've heard of one."

"Maybe it's like the wolfman that walks on two legs."

The cat hissed. "Try to stay on point gentlemen. Those questions will get you nowhere. It looks like you can't get through. I have heard about a sage. One that's lived for over 1000 years. If anyone would know how to get past this door it'd be him."

It was said the mage could command the very fires of hell. With such a power, they were certain to succeed.

. . . . .

According to the talking-cat-turned-woman, the closest town had a local mail center. It was the best place to get a message to this sage. The mail center was easy enough to find. They only had to ask for directions twice.

"Welcome to the district 9 mail center!" Greeted a young man with numbers tattooed on his face.

They explained their problem. They were on a quest to save the princess. They needed help to reach the evil dragon and this sage was their only hope. They left out the part about the talking cat who turned into a really hot woman because it just made things weird.

"We might not be able to send a messenger. But I'm certain we can get word to him."

"How exactly?"

"You're in luck. This mail center also houses the Seireitei Communication! We reach more people than any other paper in the country. And last week has been so exciting our number of readers doubled!" He saw the confused looks on their faces. These guys probably weren't big readers."Don't believe me? Just take a look at some of the ground breaking stories we've been releasing!"

He scooped up a stack of papers from his desk and threw the first one onto the table.

There was a simple headline. **[Princess kidnapped!]** And a very grainy picture of the "dragon" flying off with the princess. Or that's what it was supposed to be. The shapeless blob in the photo was impossible to identify.

"Is that a weather balloon?"

"No! It's clearly the dragon flying away with the princess. See the sunlight reflecting off its scales?" The tabloid editor had the nerve to appear hurt.

"The princess was kidnapped at night."

"And that's a weather balloon."

"I don't think you understand how digital enhancement works." Hisagi tossed another paper down on the table. The front page had an image of Lord Ukitake walking down a corridor, Kiyone and Sentaro clearly bickering in the background. At least the photo had good resolution. And the headline…

**[Two more of Lord Ukitake's aides missing! We found the bodies! How a serial killer hid in plain sight for over 40 years!]**

"Can you believe it? The last person you'd suspect right?"

Mistaking their silence for more skepticism, Hisagi pressed on. "Our reporters will stay with the story until we find the truth. No matter what!"

The last paper hit the table.

**[Heroic knight, princess' only hope, lost in the wilderness! Feared dead!] **There was a photo of Renji, throwing up on the first day of their journey.

The heroic knight was furious. "We didn't get lost! We're not idiots."

"No, we're doing very well for ourselves." Yumichika mused aloud.

Hisagi took another look at them, then back at the photo. "Oh that is you!" His finely honed reporter's instincts told him he was losing the sale. Time to change tactics. He leaped onto the table and pointed at Renji.

"You want the harsh truth? The best way to find this guy and the only way to find him fast, is this paper. We get your ad into tomorrow's early addition, tell him where to meet, and you go wait for him by the gate. Once he sees it, and he will, problem solved!"

He gave the speech a second to sink in. "We take cash or credit, no personal checks."

"How about IOUs?"

"Sorry I can't take a scrap of paper from a complete stranger. Company policy."

Renji walked closer to the table, his voice low. "Would you take one of my friends as collateral? I'll throw in the other one for free."

"You asshole!"

"Which one of us were you throwing in for free?!"

Just not low enough.

"No. Again, company policy." Hisagi paused to consider the problem, much the way Shunsui did before inviting them to drink. "I might have a solution. Let us get some pictures of you three brave adventurers and sign over the exclusive rights to your heroic tale and we'll run the ad for free."

The knight thought that was fair.

The knight wasn't very smart.

It took 5 minutes to sign the documents and another 10 minutes to get the pictures. And then another 2 hours because Yumichika demanded they reshoot his close ups. The photos (not pictures) needed to highlight his right side. Not that he had a bad side, mind you.

"Now you three head back. Leave everything else to me." Hisagi walked the weary travelers to the door. The door hadn't fully closed when he called his staff together, all business. "We need to keep this princess story going anyway they can. We've got pictures. What's the new angle?"

"What if the knight is secretly in love with the princess' brother?" called out a voice.

"Hmm. I like it, but we've got nowhere to go from there. Too early to bring out the big guns."

. . . . .

Another day's travel brought them back to the cursed frozen gates. They were out of food and money. They'd have to resort to eating the horses soon. But there was a ray of hope. When they arrived at the gates they found the "cat", still in the form of a purple haired woman, talking to an old man with a long white beard.

The old man heard their horses approaching. "You are fortunate I do not have any more important matters to attend to. I found your ad in the paper. I hate myself for buying these rags."

The tossed the paper on the ground in front of them. For the second time in as many days, Renji found himself on the front cover.

**[Knight sets out to save princess, secretly runs off with lover.]** At the bottom of the page were headshots of Ikkaku and Yumichika, side by side. **[But which one?!] **

Renji turned a little green.

"My guess was the bald one" the old man pointed to Ikkaku. "But I'm not surprised to see both of them."

Whatever outrage Ikkaku felt was nothing compared to Yumichika. He clutched the paper, his hands shaking. "This is unforgivable. This isn't the first time my sexuality has been called into question." He turned his glare on the sage. "But I am offended to by the idea anyone would favor Ikkaku over me. And how _dare _they think I would ever assort with Renji."

The old man looked at him sympathetically. "Would it make you feel better if I said that Renji strikes me as man with less refined tastes?"

"Slightly."

Yamamoto cleared his throat and called their attention back to the business at hand. "What appears to be the problem?" The sooner he got this over with the better.

Ikkaku pointed to the gates behind him. "It's sealed by some form of magic. No matter how hard we push, it won't budge. We were gonna try a battering-ram next."

The old man studied the gate for a long drawn out moment. He removed his robe from his shoulders, revealing his heavily scared body. The air around him shimmered. He cracked his knuckles and strode purposefully to the giant doors.

Showmanship, something this younger generation had no appreciation for.

Then he paused. He looked back at the three adventurers, then back at the gate, before he grasped one of the handles.

They saw the gate shift slightly, trembling under the might of the old sage.

They cheered, "Whatever you doing! Keep it up!"

The wise old sage looked back at them again. "Whatever I'm doing? The sign is on the other side. Why would there be handles like these to push a door open?"

And then, to their horror, the wise old sage _pulled_ on the handles and the massive doors swung open easily.

Yoruichi laughed, "Wow. That is embarrassing. I can't believe you guys didn't even try that."

"Why didn't you?" Renji all but screamed, his right eye begin to twitch again. He thought he felt a blood vessel burst. "Why are you even here?"

She smiled back at them. "Mostly I show up towards the end of a journey and help recap the plot. Think of me as a convenient plot device, not really changing the flow of the story."

They stared at her.

"As for why I'm here", She gestured to herself. "You don't put in this kind of effort to look good and not get in front of the camera."

Yumichika could only nod. "So true. It is a burden we few, we beautiful few, must carry."

Renji, heroic knight and seasoned warrior, choked down a sob.

So this was rock bottom.

The old sage eyed them coldly. "I'm still charging you full price for my services. That includes travel and expenses."

Since Renji was in the early stages of a mental breakdown, Ikkaku decided to speak up. "We're out of money. We've got the clothes on our backs and the horses."

"I see."

. . . . .

Rukia watched the snowfall in amazement. Toshiro had spent the last hour trying to teach her to manipulate the weather like he did, with limited success. Very limited. While they shared the same affinity for ice and snow, Toshiro was obviously more in tune with it. She'd watched him create everything from gentle flurries to harsh blizzards.

She, on the other hand, made it hail.

After several attempts she'd only managed to alter the weather in that one way. Snow was so rare in her home. She desperately wanted to create a gentle snowfall. Sensing her frustration, Toshiro stepped up behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her. "Deep breath. Relax. Focus on the moisture in the air."

Praying he couldn't hear the way her heart was hammering away in her chest, Rukia tried to relax. She closed her eyes, reached out with her other senses. The moisture wasn't the problem. She could feel it in the air around them.

She extended her hand, gathered a small amount of reitsu in her palm. As gently as she could manage, she pushed the energy into the water molecules, drawing them together. They responded, merging together, until the air could no longer support their weight.

She opened her eyes.

More hailstones.

With a soft huff, Rukia leaned back into his embrace. "I wonder how big I can make them."

. . . . .

With the evil magic of the frozen gate "defeated" the brave and poor companions began walking toward the palace in the distance. But even the weather turned against them. Where the skies had once been perfectly clear, black clouds had gathered. With every step towards their goal the wind grew more violent and the snow fell harder around them.

Then it started to hail.

Hours later they reached the castle steps. Tired, starving, and half frozen. Battered by hailstones the size of golf balls.

And the knight prepared to face his greatest challenge ever. He was a still a heroic knight. Yes, he'd lost his horse. His new overpriced armor was about to be melted down by a mean old man. And he could barely remember what dignity felt like. He liked to think that it felt warm like a blanket, or like sitting next to a fire, or like anything but this blizzard that had come out of nowhere.

But when this was all over he'd marry the princess. He get a stable full of horses, he'd use human shields for armor, and his dignity…

Okay, maybe that wasn't coming back.

But he was still a knight and a knight conducted himself gracefully. He took a deep steadying breath.

"Get your ass out here!"

. . . . .

At about the same time the princess and the dragon were sitting at the small table in her bedroom, admiring their handiwork. Rukia set down her teacup, turning her attention back to her bunny, Snowflake, sitting in her lap. It was a very small storm, harsh but pleasant to watch from inside.

Toshiro had made sure none of the workers would be outside while she practiced. As fond as the two of them were of the cold, even they wouldn't go outside in that kind of weather**. **Rukia glanced at Toshiro. He was so thoughtful when it came to the people he protected.

The moment was ruined when she heard a string of curses coming from outside. Toshiro caught her gaze, one white eyebrow raised. He set his own cup down and went out onto the balcony. By the time she had put Snowflake safely in his cage and joined Toshiro on the balcony, he'd already dispersed the storm.

They peered over the railing and saw what looked like a homeless and possible crazy traveler screaming at the top of his lungs. A few feet away there appeared to be two corpses in a heap.

Toshiro looked her over thoughtfully. "I was going to ask you to go inside until I realized I can freeze him in a blizzard without fear of hurting you." It was true. She seemed to be remarkably resistant to the cold, if not to the same extent as him.

Rukia smiled back. "That is pretty awesome." She looked back at the delusional idiot below. At this distance all she could make out was that he had a sword in one hand, which he swung wildly around him, and red matted hair. "Wait a minute. I think I know that guy."

Toshiro raised an eyebrow.

If that idiot was the idiot she thought he was…Renji was about to get himself killed for no reason. She was not going back to a bunch of spoiled suitors that were after her brother's money. They sent letters or messengers asking for the right to marry her, too intimidated by her brother to show up in person.

Only a dragon was bold enough to take what he wanted.

Her face felt like it was on fire.

She was not going back.

Easy enough. She would explain the situation to Renji and send him on his way. It was an arranged marriage after all. They'd been friends since childhood. Renji would be happy for her.

. . . . .

Renji narrowed his eyes as the dragon descended onto the ground before him, the princess in his arms. Before the knight could say a word the princess began chattering excitedly.

The princess explained the situation to her old friend. She was happy here, was _needed_ here, and didn't want to see any bloodshed. The knight, while sympathetic, would not be swayed.

"Hell no! Are you out of your goddamn mind? Do you have any idea the kind of hell I've been through? How hard it was to find this place?"

"Find this place? Didn't all 3 of you grow up in the next town over? Weren't you all in their military?" Rukia shot back.

At this the knight's companions raised their heads.

Ikkaku groaned. "Fuck, this place does look familiar."

"I think this is where we bought watermelon from." Yumichika added.

Rukia glared at them.

"… in our defense. We have been drunk and/or hungover for the majority of this quest."

"It's actually pretty irresponsible when you look at it as a whole."

"Shut the hell up!" Renji barked. He couldn't take much more of this. Clinging to the tattered remains of his sanity he stared into the dragon's eyes. "You dragon, me knight! Let's do this!"

Toshiro glanced at Rukia. "What did your brother see in him?"

"He doesn't like learning new names."

Getting back on topic, the moment had come for the knight to slay the dragon and complete his quest.

"What? I have to lose a fight to this idiot!?" The dragon shouted at the voice in the sky.

The knight narrowed his eyes. "Watch it twerp."

"I'm not the one standing in a pile of horseshit."

Renji looked down.

Thwack!

The dragon casually knocked the knight's sword away with his tail.

"I wasn't ready!" Renji ran to retrieve his weapon.

The dragon rolled his eyes. "I'm stronger, faster, and smarter than him!"

"By far." Rukia added.

"Hey!"

The princess shook her head at her old friend. "Nothing personal Renji. But when it comes to intellect on a scale of 1-10, you're at best a 6."

"How is that not personal?!"

The princess continued. "And Toshiro pretty much breaks that scale."

Yumichika raised one feather adorned eyebrow. "Toshiro? Really princess? It's only been like 9 days."

Rukia smirked. "With the majority of that time spent in the bedroom, so you figure it out."

_Unohana: That is wildly inappropriate for a children's story Matsumoto._

The princess blushed. "Nevermind."

But the dragon loved the princess so much he couldn't bring himself to kill her friend.

Hitsugaya growled, looked over at Rukia and reluctantly lowered his sword. His hands shook as the tip brushed the ground.

Renji grinned, raised his blade, and rushed forward.

The princess eyes locked with the dragon, unable to look away, unable to breath.

The knight roared as he charged the dragon. Pouring all his emotions into that single scream, all the pain, heartache, and frustration, he'd endured over his long journey. And there was a lot of frustration; con artists, selling friends into slavery, and the tabloids. Blinking through the tears he prepared to deliver a fatal blow.

Hitsugaya sighed.

Rukia screamed.

Renji leapt.

_Yachiru: That's stupid! The dragon can't give up._

Renji froze in mid-strike, literally in midair.

_Matsumoto: What is it __**now**__?_

_Yachiru: The dragon can't give up! He kidnapped the princess to save her from the stupid knight._

_Matsumoto: What did you think was supposed to happen?!_

_Unohana: Matsumoto_

_Matsumoto:…Of course._

Renji smiled nervously. "I believe we were discussing a peaceful solution a moment ago."

Hitsugaya smirked.

With a single blow the dragon swatted the knight aside.

Ryuusenka!

Or the dragon curb stomped the knight into the ground. At this point, why the hell not?

As the knight lay dying at the dragon's feet, the princess stepped over his broken body. She threw her arms around the dragon and kissed him deeply.

As they pulled apart the dragon stared into the princess' eyes. "Does it feel like the quality of this story has finally picked up?"

"No kidding." The princess murmured, resting her head against the dragon's chest.

"Guys, I think I can still be saved, with immediate medical attention." The knight gasped.

And was promptly ignored.

"Hey! Short stacks!"

Toshiro called out to the remaining travelers, still lying in a heap. "You know where the gates are. If you two want to stay you need to work. Drag yourselves inside and talk to the stewart."

Weary nods and two quiet "Thank you"s were his answer.

The End

"Matsumoto you bitch!" The knight screamed at the heavens.

_Matsumoto: This isn't how I wanted the story to go Renji! _

"How does that help me?!"

_Matsumoto: It's not my fault! Yachiru kept changing the story. First the queen, then the princess, changing the dragon-Oh god! I'm arguing with a creation in my own story! Are you happy Yachiru!?_

_Yachiru: Yay! So what happens next?_

. . . . .

Unohana smiled at Matsumoto gratefully. "We're all done for today. Thank you for your help fukutaichou." She lowered the protective barrier and helped the pink haired girl to her feet.

"I want to hear more about the dragon and the princess", Yachiru whined.

Unohana patted the girl's head gently. "Matsumto fukutaichou can tell you the rest when she comes back for your next treatment." She turned to face the busty blonde. "Next week."

Matsumoto paused. "I'm sorry Unohna taichou that's the end of the book." Not that she'd followed that damned book. She'd had to improvise around all of Yachiru's changes and frankly, she was burnt out. That first drink was going to feel good today. First a drink, then she was going to give Hinamori hell.

The conversation screeched to a halt when door to the medical room opened. And the last person anyone expected walked through it.

Rukia Kuchiki, newly minted fukutaichou of the 13th division, stepped into the room. She gave a deep and respectful bow, then addressed the head of the 4th division. "Please forgive the interruption Unohana taichou. My taichou wished to send a get well present to Kusajishi fukutaichou."

"That's quite alright fukutaichou. We're just about to finish up."

The Kuchikia princess...er noble smiled brightly at the younger girl and handed her another doll. Unlike the dragon plushie this one was a little more typical. It was a simple figure of a young woman with black hair that hung loosely down her back, wearing a white kimono embroidered with pink flower petals.

The doll was clearly meant for a younger child. Her skin was pale but not in the slightly harsh way of the traditional Japanese dolls, which always looked so formal. Her face had a gentle, almost inviting smile.

"Jushiro is very thoughtful." Unohana smiled at the sight.

"Yes, she is a beautiful little princess." Yumichika agreed.

Ikkaku snorted.

While not as personal a gift as the dragon, Yachiru's eyes lit up just the same. She tucked the dragon under one arm as she reached for the doll in Rukia's hands.

Rukia didn't miss the gesture. "What do you have there?"

"This is my dragon." Yachiru seemed to swell with pride.

"He's very cute. Can I hold him?"

Yachiru hesitated briefly, decided she could trust Rukia, and then handed over the plushie, with both hands free she began playing with the doll's hair.

Rukia watched the younger girl for a moment, hoping she liked the gift. Then Rukia turned her attention to the dragon Yachiru had given her. She appeared genuinely captivated by the dragon, touching the wings and the spikes on its head, before cradling it against her. "He really is cute. The wings are beautiful."

"Thank you." Yumichika cut in. He smirked victoriously at Ikkaku. "I told you."

"Matsumoto?" A voice called from beyond the door. The voice was calm, cold, and unmistakable. An instant later her taichou crossed over the threshold into the room. "So this is where you've been hiding."

Matsumoto was going to faint.

They don't know, she told herself. Hold it together. You can talk your way out this.

Then her taichou took a few steps into the room, stopping just before her.

Matsumoto's eyes widened in horror. There they were, her taichou and Rukia. Standing next to each other, with Rukia holding the stuffed dragon in her arms. Matsumoto's eyes darted to Yachiru. The pink haired fukutaichou was staring at the pair, eyes wide, the new doll all but forgotten. Matsumoto swore she could hear the gears turning in Yachiru's head.

Hitsugaya nodded in greeting to everyone in the room. "This is quite the gathering."

"We're just keeping Yachiru company." Ikkaku explained. But there was a strange smile on his face.

Rukia bowed to Hitsugaya taichou. "I'm just delivering a get well soon gift from my taichou."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow and looked at the blue dragon in her arms.

The noble seemed slightly flustered when she followed his gaze. "Oh this?" she shook her head. "No. This was already Yachiru's. I just asked to see it." The explanation must have sounded better in her head. Poor Rukia seemed even more embarrassed, pointedly looking anywhere but the young taichou.

"He's an ice dragon." Yachiru informed them with unusual seriousness.

That got a small smile from the white haired taichou. "Good choice."

Even Unohana found that funny, her gentle laughter muffled behind one hand.

Rukia stared down at the stuffed dragon in her arms, still hesitant to look at the live dragon standing in front of her. Looking at the plushie's face, "He has green eyes." She said in a soft voice.

Matsumoto felt like the air was sucked out of the room. There was silence until-

"Yes they do." Yumichika agreed, a smug grin on his face.

The glare Matsumoto shot Yumichika was absolutely murderous. He pretended not to notice. If anything, he seemed more smug.

A look at her taichou's confirmed her worst fears. Hitsugaya taichou was studying all of them now. Reexamining every spoken word, every action, since he entered the room. Matsumoto had watched him long enough to know what that look meant. He was pulling apart his previous assumptions, reassembling the pieces of the puzzle, adding in new information. In a matter of seconds he had a new theory about the nature of her visits, of her story.

He stared at her.

She flinched.

And he knew she was guilty.

It was Unohana that came to her rescue. "We are done for the day so Yachiru is almost free to go." She announced to the group. Then addressed her fellow taichou. "Hitsugaya taichou. I must apologize for requiring so much of your fukutaichou's time but she has been invaluable. I hope her absence hasn't put any undue strain on your division. Will you allow me to borrow her a little longer before sending her back to the division?"

"That's fine."

"Thank you for being so accommodating."

"I'll leave you to your work." Without waiting for a response, her taichou was gone. No doubt thinking of a suitable but cruel punishment for her.

"I should return to my duties as well." Rukia handed the dragon back to the pink haired girl. A bow, quick but appropriate, and she was out the door.

"They're quite the pair." Ikkaku chuckled.

Matsumoto suppressed a groan.

Unohana addressed the two male 11th division members. "Will you wait outside for a moment?"

They politely made their way to the door.

The moment the door closed Matsumoto let out a sigh of relief. She had a lot to explain but Unohana taichou had bought her some time. It was a small mercy but she was still grateful for it.

Unohana taichou smiled at her sweetly. "You realize now I own you."

"So next week then?"

"Don't be late."

Matsumoto walked to the door, ready to put this whole mess out of mind for one long drunken evening. But curiosity got the best of her when she heard Unohana taicho laughing softly.

She turned back in time to see what the taichou found so amusing.

Yachiru stood oblivious to everything else in the room, the dragon in one hand, the princess doll in the other, pressing the two dolls together, making them kiss.

Fin

It's finally over! This entire story was just supposed to be a prologue to a bigger story. I don't think I'll keep going in that direction. It feels good to get this weight off my shoulders. I can move on to something else. Did anyone notice a pattern with the minor characters? I liked the idea of Rukia being kidnapped from her brother's home (6th Division) and being taken to Hitsugaya's (10th Division). So I added or mentioned (Kommomara) characters from 7th, 8th, and 9th, in that order. I wanted to say thanks to the few that reviewed. Reader interest, or lack thereof, means a lot.


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